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- do not call him AT ALL. at all, at all, at all. EVER. do not call from your best friend’s cell phone. do not call to say he left his charger here. do not even THINK about texting him.
- do not have any regrets. remember that he treated you like shit. remember that he broke up with you on facebook because you couldn’t drive him 4 hours home. remember that he wouldn’t stay in pittsburgh this summer when had the choice. remember that he left you at the bar with creepy guys. remember that he slept through half of your dates. remember that he bought you fries and ate almost all of them. remember that he cursed at you. remember that he would leave in the middle of arguments and turn off his phone for days.
- do not email him. do not IM him. do not go to the grocery store near his house. do not wonder if he feels really, really bad, too. do not wonder why it worked out like this.
- do not keep any of his stuff.
- submit poems to contests. read. prepare for graduate school. prepare for the summer writing program. visit friends in new york, los angeles, baltimore and seattle. and if he ever tries to reach out to you, DO NOT REPLY.
- do not expect to feel any sort of comfort or ease for the next few weeks.
- keep moving. do not stay in your apartment forever. keep dancing and going out and having parties.
- do not get back into another relationship for a long, long time.
- re-structure your life based on YOUR needs and priorities, not his.
- hang out with friends you neglected when you were in a relationship.
- forget him. do whatever it takes to completely forget him.
- realize that you would have been miserable in a long-distance summer relationship. and a long-distance relationship next year.
- you would have been miserable because he is not reliable.
- run. get a haircut.
- remember the times he ditched you at parties. remember when you were really stressed and he pushed your buttons. remember when he walked ahead of you and didn’t hold your hand. remember when he slept through your coffee date. your museum date. remember how you’re the one who was always paying and driving.
- STOP THINKING OF HIM.
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- waking up to the apartment filled with balloons and streamers
- seeing E. for the first time in months
- Joel accompanying me to the New Yinzer reading on Penn Ave
- Sitting in the back seats drinking whiskey from a flask
- Listening to dark, moody stories that made me feel better
- going dancing at 80’s Night at Belvedere’s with friends
- whiskey sours and one dollar PBR
- when I was about to cry, E kissed me on the cheek
- and then the mouth
- I thought of the break-up a few times; danced harder
- for a millisecond i erased the thought of you.
